Procrastination

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Over three hours ago I sat down to write a story for this blog. Just 100 words. No big deal.

7 pm: Picked up a pencil and sketch pad (my writing tools). Realised I was low on paper. Spent 10 minutes ordering a new sketch pad online.

7.15 pm: Spent another 40 minutes browsing random junk on Amazon.

7.55 pm: Made a cup of tea. Checked email. Replied to emails. Organised emails into folders.

8.20 pm: Tinnitus irritating the hell out of me, so decided to search through YouTube to find the right music to block it out. Instead, watched a TED talk. Then another. And one more. Then watched some outtakes from Peter Kay’s Car Share.

9.50 pm: Finally found the right music. Pressed play. Laptop froze. Had to reboot. Accidentally put it into Safe Mode. Took forever to load back up.

10 pm: Made another cup of tea. Checked email. Replied to emails.

10.20 pm: Wrote half a sentence. Got stuck. Couldn’t think of the right word to use. Went to Dictionary.com for inspiration. Got sidetracked by Word of the Day (purloin, in case you were wondering). Spent five minutes reading about the origin of ‘purloin’. Still couldn’t find the word I wanted.

10.30 pm: Stared at the half a sentence I’d written. Realised I’m too tired to write a story now. I’m really annoyed with myself 😦


Ridiculous Writing Challenge #4

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Possibly the worst writing challenge ever, but what the hell, it’s worth a shot.

Challenge

To reorganise the text in one of the comments sitting in my spam box and turn it into something that makes a little more sense.

Rules

Not much point in rules. It’s a silly idea anyway…

My Offering

Greetings frkm Colorado!

I’m boored too tars att work. Comee oon over aand position ths putt uup higher! I’m loaded oon myy pbone. I’m shocked att howw quick you’ve interested me. Come sitt on somme veery vazlid points! I lovee aall the attention-grabbing plints you make on my iphone during lie down. Can’t wait tto take a lolk wen I gget home. I desire to see more and be happy! I’m not even using WIFI!

Thans =)


Ridiculous Writing Challenge #3

Writer’s block has made itself a lovely nest in my brain. Attempt number three to inject some inspiration into my grey matter.

Challenge #3

Write a 25-word story based on today’s Daily Prompt: Symptom

Rules

Exactly 25 words. Not 24. Not 26. 25.

My Attempt

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Doctor Google

Milly typed her symptoms into Google. Bad idea. She either had PMS or she was in the throes of demonic possession. Similar symptoms. Different treatment.


Ridiculous Writing Challenge #2

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Next one.

Challenge #2

6-6-6 photo prompt challenge using the photo above.

Rules

6 lines, each containing 6 words, with each word containing only one syllable (6-6-6).

My Attempt

The door won’t move. It’s stuck.

There’s no way out of here.

I see blood on the walls.

A big toe on the floor.

The mad man’s sat out there.

Just in case we make it.


 

Ridiculous Writing Challenge #1

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In an attempt to break through my writer’s block, I decided to make up some pointless writing challenges, using ridiculous rules that serve no real purpose.

Challenge #1

To write five alliterative six-word stories.

Rules

All the words in each story have to start with the same letter.

My Attempt

1. Seven snakes slithered silently, seeking solitude.

2. Masked maniac meets match. Matrimony, maybe.

3. Coroner caught casually caressing cold corpse.

4. Fishy fireworks. Fragile flesh. Flamegrilled fingers.

5. Dishonourable demagogue deliberately defrauded downtrodden devotees.

Hmm.


 

Writer’s Block

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So, after spending the whole weekend working on a difficult story for a competition, I now have a serious case of nothing-in-my-brain-ness. 

I’ve tried all the usual strategies: freewriting (ended up with a page full of swear words), writing for the Daily Prompt (stared at the word “label” for half an hour with a blank expression on my face), reading other people’s brilliant stories (hello self-doubt, nice to see you again), etc. I considered alcohol, but it’s only 8 AM here in England.

I was hoping that writing a post about writer’s block might help, but, as it turns out, I can’t think of anything to write. 

Urghh.


 

One Month Old

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My blog is a month old today (Happy Birthday, Blog…I’ll buy you something nice later), which means I’ve officially been writing again for a whole werewolf  lunar month. Kind of.

I know I’m a mere baby compared to you seasoned bloggers out there but, as someone who has a mortal fear of committing to anything, I’m just amazed that I finally stuck with something.

Anyway, for my Blog Birthday, I got the lovely surprise of winning the Ad Hoc Flash Fiction Competition – my first competition win since returning to writing. So I thought I’d share the winning piece with you below. It’s not my usual kind of flash fiction story, but I’m guessing most writers have experienced this…


 The Writing Process

Draft 1: Steve bought a cup of coffee.

Draft 2: Steve bought an extra-tall, triple-shot, non-fat latte.

Draft 7: Steve bought a grande latte from the pretty girl behind the counter.

Draft 11: Steve bought a latte from the smiling waitress who reminded him of his mother.

Draft 24: Steven Blake purchased a foamy latte from the waitress who looked uncannily like his mother.

Draft 46: Steven Palmer-Blake pulled out his gold credit card and paid the pretty waitress for his triple-shot, extra-tall, non-fat, extra-foam, mocha-latte with extra sprinkles, all the while thinking how much the waitress looked like his recently deceased mother.

Final draft: Steve bought a cup of coffee.